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With the school holidays fast approaching, this is a powerful technique to help you keep a cool head this summer.....

The Whinge Factor: How to Stay Calm! 



Child: Can I have….

Adult: No.

Child: When can I have….

Adult: I said No!

Child: Why can’t I have…

Adult: The answer is NO!

Child: Well I want....

Adult: How many times do I have to say NO!

Child: BUT I WANT IT…

Adult: YOU ARE NOT LISTENING TO ME, THE ANSWER IS NO!!!

We have all been there. Our child wants something and for whatever reason they can’t have it! Yet children have an amazing ability to incessantly plague us and whinge until

(A)   They break us down and we give in

Or

(B) It ends up in a shouting match and tears

The following is a Life Coaching technique that I have applied to situations like this. Replace “No” with two simple, interchangeable statements and the whole tone of the conversation changes:

·         Explain clearly at the outset the reason why the child can’t have it (e.g. maybe they are being punished for something, you had a deal and they broke it, or simply they can have it later!)  

·         When the plaguing and whinging start, replace “No”  with either of these two statements:

-          “You tell me the reason why you can’t have it”

-          “You know the reason why you can’t have it”

By doing this, you are essentially letting the child answer the question themselves. And in addition, by responding in this way, you are making the child aware of their responsibility in the matter.

This is a simple, yet powerful technique. And you will find it is so easy to remain calm.

Yes, you may have to repeat the same statements over and over initially.  But in doing so, you are keeping it to the story. And you’ll immediately recognise the difference in your child’s responses. The whinging and plaguing will taper out much sooner, with the return to a contented household!  


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