Building Resilience in Children Through Praise

Praising Our Children – How to Praise Wisely and Build Resilience!

When you are acknowledging your childrens efforts, what do you say? Have you ever considered how you praise your child can make them more resilient?

When praising our children, it is important to praise the “process”, that is, the effort they have made (e.g. “You've put a lot of work into that”), not just the “person” (e.g. “You're so smart”, "You are gifted", "You're amazing" etc) .

The Praise Process:

Use words and phrases that focus on the EFFORT the children have put into the task (not the child themselves).

Perseverance – “You really put a lot of effort into solving that problem.”
Rising to the challenge - “You put more effort in this time around and see how your results are better.”
Action - “You tried lots of strategies and that's an achievement in itself.”
Improvement - “You really practiced that and look at your improvement”.
Strategy - “You used a good strategy in figuring out how to do that”.
Effort - “You really stuck with the problem. Great Effort!”

Praise Should be Specific, Sincere and Sparing

Think about where your child lacks resilience? Areas in their lives where they get frustrated or upset and give up easily. It could with school work, sports or even socially? Jot down some phrases, based on The Praise Process, you can use next time to boost their resilience and encourage them to meet the challenge.

Praising General Good Behaviour

The Praise Process can also be applied to general good behavior from your child. For example, maybe they turned off the screens as soon as you asked, shared with a friend, got ready without you asking or did something kind for someone in the family?

Recognizing and acknowledging this type of behaviour is as important as recognizing achievements!

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