Parenting Tips and Tools

When coaching parents, a reoccurring theme is how to manage  childrens  screen time, specifically during the school holidays.  At the beginning of the summer holidays, I established these *screen time boundaries with the kids for our “downtime days”. They are designed to encourage and reward good behavior while making the kids aware that screen time is limited and must be earned (they are not  automatically entitled to it!).  # parentcoach  # lifecoach # practicalparenting   *The length of my kids screen time  works for our family! And should be adapted to reflect your families requirements!   

Following my screen boundaries post, some of you contacted me requesting further details into how I implement the plan and communicate to my kids that screen time must be "earned".  Firstly, sit down with your kids and make a list of the behaviors you want to address (these can be a simple as stop antagonizing your sibling - a popular one in our house!) and a list of the daily chores they must complete. Make it clear the chores must be completed as part of their "earnings". Where possible, let them choose when to do them (this encourages personal responsibility) as long as they are done before their next block of screen time. Regarding enforcing good behavior, choose how you feel best it would work with your family.  I usually knock 5 minutes at a time off their next screen time allocations, depending on the extent of the misdemeanor! How many times have we been driven to the point of frustration and uttered the unavoidable words "that's it, screens are g...

Ongoing studies show the negative impact that social media has particularly on young people, leading to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety and depression. And I can't help thinking, with the abundance of idyllic family images online enjoying  # familytime , does this extend to parenting too? Having returned from a week at the beach with the kids, I was browsing through my photos and came across one that made me smile for two reasons. At a first glance, the photo  is of my kids deeply engrossed in their own conversation on a family day out and while this was, at that moment, a  # happymemory  the story that lead up to this moment was in fact, quite a different one........ Not long into our expedition, my youngest slipped into a rock pool. Upon my attempts to rescue him, I too proceeded to slip into the rock pool (at which point I may have uttered an expletive....) - Cue - Wet socks and shoes and we hadn't even made it off the beach. Having just about negotiat...

My youngest has started 3rd class and with that the dreaded Irish Spellings! And is finding them challenging! My eldest did also when he started them, though over time, I noticed they did become easier for him or for want of a better phrase he "got the hang of" them.  As it happens I am currently reading a book on the teenage brain which touched on this subject and explains why we can find learning new things tricky and that there is hope!!! The Science: Every time we repeat an action, the relevant neurons and connections in the brain are activated. The more we practice the action, the stronger those particular connections between the neurons become. And hence the better you become at that task!  So, with Irish spellings (in our case!), the new pathways just need to be developed and grow stronger over time (with practice)! If you don't use those connections regularly however, they may die off. For example, if your child has forgotten how to do fraction...

Praising Our Children – How to Praise Wisely and Build Resilience! When you are acknowledging your childrens efforts, what do you say? Have you ever considered how you praise your child can make them more resilient? When praising our children, it is important to praise the “process”, that is, the effort they have made (e.g. “You've put a lot of work into that”), not just the “person” (e.g. “You're so smart”, "You are gifted", "You're amazing" etc) . The Praise Process: Use words and phrases that focus on the EFFORT the children have put into the task (not the child themselves). Perseverance – “You really put a lot of effort into solving that problem.” Rising to the challenge - “You put more effort in this time around and see how your results are better.” Action - “You tried lots of strategies and that's an achievement in itself.” Improvement - “You really practiced that and look at your improvement”. Strategy - “You used a good stra...