Parenting Tips and Tools

Following my screen boundaries post, some of you contacted me requesting further details into how I implement the plan and communicate to my kids that screen time must be "earned".  Firstly, sit down with your kids and make a list of the behaviors you want to address (these can be a simple as stop antagonizing your sibling - a popular one in our house!) and a list of the daily chores they must complete. Make it clear the chores must be completed as part of their "earnings". Where possible, let them choose when to do them (this encourages personal responsibility) as long as they are done before their next block of screen time. Regarding enforcing good behavior, choose how you feel best it would work with your family.  I usually knock 5 minutes at a time off their next screen time allocations, depending on the extent of the misdemeanor! How many times have we been driven to the point of frustration and uttered the unavoidable words "that's it, screens are g...

Ongoing studies show the negative impact that social media has particularly on young people, leading to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety and depression. And I can't help thinking, with the abundance of idyllic family images online enjoying  # familytime , does this extend to parenting too? Having returned from a week at the beach with the kids, I was browsing through my photos and came across one that made me smile for two reasons. At a first glance, the photo  is of my kids deeply engrossed in their own conversation on a family day out and while this was, at that moment, a  # happymemory  the story that lead up to this moment was in fact, quite a different one........ Not long into our expedition, my youngest slipped into a rock pool. Upon my attempts to rescue him, I too proceeded to slip into the rock pool (at which point I may have uttered an expletive....) - Cue - Wet socks and shoes and we hadn't even made it off the beach. Having just about negotiat...

My youngest has started 3rd class and with that the dreaded Irish Spellings! And is finding them challenging! My eldest did also when he started them, though over time, I noticed they did become easier for him or for want of a better phrase he "got the hang of" them.  As it happens I am currently reading a book on the teenage brain which touched on this subject and explains why we can find learning new things tricky and that there is hope!!! The Science: Every time we repeat an action, the relevant neurons and connections in the brain are activated. The more we practice the action, the stronger those particular connections between the neurons become. And hence the better you become at that task!  So, with Irish spellings (in our case!), the new pathways just need to be developed and grow stronger over time (with practice)! If you don't use those connections regularly however, they may die off. For example, if your child has forgotten how to do fraction...

Praising Our Children – How to Praise Wisely and Build Resilience! When you are acknowledging your childrens efforts, what do you say? Have you ever considered how you praise your child can make them more resilient? When praising our children, it is important to praise the “process”, that is, the effort they have made (e.g. “You've put a lot of work into that”), not just the “person” (e.g. “You're so smart”, "You are gifted", "You're amazing" etc) . The Praise Process: Use words and phrases that focus on the EFFORT the children have put into the task (not the child themselves). Perseverance – “You really put a lot of effort into solving that problem.” Rising to the challenge - “You put more effort in this time around and see how your results are better.” Action - “You tried lots of strategies and that's an achievement in itself.” Improvement - “You really practiced that and look at your improvement”. Strategy - “You used a good stra...

The Whinge Factor: How to Stay Calm!  Child: Can I have…. Adult: No. Child: When can I have…. Adult: I said No! Child: Why can’t I have… Adult: The answer is NO! Child: Well I want.... Adult: How many times do I have to say NO! Child: BUT I WANT IT… Adult: YOU ARE NOT LISTENING TO ME, THE ANSWER IS NO!!! We have all been there. Our child wants something and for whatever reason they can’t have it! Yet children have an amazing ability to incessantly plague us and whinge until (A)    They break us down and we give in Or (B) It ends up in a shouting match and tears The following is a Life Coaching technique that I have applied to situations like this. Replace “No” with two simple, interchangeable statements and the whole tone of the conversation changes: ·          Explain clearly at the outset the reason why the child can’t have it (e.g. maybe they are being puni...

We are all now back fully immersed the school routine, and again faced with the daily task of wondering what to put in our kids lunchboxes. The struggle to come up with ideas, in order to avoid the soul destruction that is opening the lunchbox after school to find our perfectly edible lunches nibbled or worse untouched! The following is a really easy milkshake I make for the kids one day a week (usually a Thursday, as then I can console myself I have only one more day left in the week to come up with another idea). They love it and it's one day I'm guaranteed to open an empty lunchbox after school! 1 banana Glass of Milk Raw Cacao Powder (roughly 1 teaspoon) Put all the ingredients in the Nutri Bullet (or any blender), Blitz and Pour!  (You can also add in a tablespoon of peanut butter provided your school allows nut products). Separately, I add some crackers, a couple of slices of cheese and a few grapes for some extra sustenance. That's Thursdays lunch s...